Cheryl Shops

Cheryl Shops...Kate Moss for Topshop at Barneys
I am going to preface this post by saying that I love Barneys, and, as longtime Cheryl Shops readers know, it is probably my favorite place to shop. However, I think they dropped the ball completely on this Kate Moss for Topshop thing. But I'll get to why in a minute.

9:30 a.m. I arrive at the Upper West Side Barneys Co-Op and am the 10th person in line. I spend the next half hour congratulating myself on avoiding the certain mayhem at the Madison Avenue store (the Soho and Chelsea branches don't open until 11, so I ruled them out altogether).

9:58 a.m. The lovely salesgirls open the doors two minutes early! Hurray!

10:00 a.m. Panic ensues. There is one rack of clothing. One. Rack. Some 25 women grab desperately at it; I manage to snag two of the items I had wanted, the sequined gray jersey tee and the posy-print babydoll dress.

10:10 a.m. I try both items on. The tee is a size smaller than what I'd normally wear, but it looks fine. The dress, a UK 12, is too small on me. I ask the salesgirl if there are any size 14's left. She said the 12 was the largest size. Okay, note to Barneys: US sizes are two sizes smaller than UK sizes, and Topshop clothes run small to begin with. I'm not sure you're aware of this, but many of your shoppers are bigger than a size 6. Topshop goes up to UK 16. Why can't you?

10:12 a.m. I decide to buy both the tee and the dress, figuring if I can't resell the dress on eBay for at least $150 (it was $120), I'll return it within 30 days. The tee is very cute, however.

10:13 a.m. The salesgirl tells me that Madison Avenue was supposed to get "a lot more" than the UWS store. The devil on my shoulder tells me to check it out.

10:20 a.m. I hop on the M72 crosstown bus and head over to the Upper East Side.

10:32 a.m. I arrive at the Madison Avenue store. Trucks are being packed up with velvet ropes, chairs, and red carpets from last night's party. TV reporters are interviewing shoppers. It appears calm on the ground floor, but it's mayhem on the 7th floor. Men are snapping photos. Women are circulating with roughly 12 garments in their arms. More women are circling the racks, hoping aforementioned women put some of their unwanted items back on the racks. I check it out--the posy-print dresses are all gone. There are some chiffon tattoo dresses left, but they're $200. Lots of striped tees, logo tees, and the henley tanks. Some black pants and capri jeans. Lots of sequined-shoulder jersey tees; I take one and don't try it on.

10:35 a.m. I pay for my tee and hightail it out of the store.

So, my beef with Barneys is twofold: One, they said they'd be carrying the entire line, which was an all-out lie. I didn't see the white dress, the black cutout dress, the long skirts, any vests, or any accessories. Two, they only carried up to size UK 12, which is a small US 8, which totally defeats the point of masstige--which is for the masses, who are not all size 2. Also, don't go looking for any Kate Moss stuff on their website--it's completely sold out.

The silver lining in all of this? Topshop's website has some items still in stock, and they're supposedly gradually rolling out more in the coming weeks. I think at this point, it's that or eBay, where I'll be looking for the things I wanted but didn't get, like the corset top, the cream cropped jacket, and the vests. Now if only Topshop would open a bricks-and-mortar store in NYC...