Cheryl Shops

America's Next Top Model recap
How naive of me to think that after Cassandra's departure last week America's Next Top Model was going to get boring. As Cheryl Shops reader Summer predicted, Lisa has taken over as the house's resident bitch. Lisa doesn't hesitate to tell the other girls what's wrong with them--they don't know how to pose, they're too muscular, they're too flabby, etc.--and regardless of whether she's right, she claims she's doing it so the other girls become stiffer competition for her. At first I thought she was insanely self-confident, but after the girls had a photo shoot with the "surprise guest" (more on that later), I came to the conclusion that she's really feeling the heat (hmm, maybe because she's old and fugly--more on that later, too) and so to combat her insecurities, she's trying to make the other models feel bad. Quite simple armchair psychology, really. Anyway, the girls' first task was to meet with Dean and Dan Factor (hey, wasn't one of them married to Shannen Doherty?), founders of Smashbox makeup, to discuss their flaws and how to work with them. Since the girls also had to point out everyone else's flaws, of course Lisa stepped up to the task. And while she's right about the fact that Coryn is a bit on the muscular side, her criticism is clearly starting to wear on Coryn (again, more on that later). The girls then had an impromptu photo shoot, in which they had to direct the photographer how to magnify, then conceal, their flaw. Completely out of nowhere, Kyle won, and she got to take Kim (clearly everyone's favorite girl in the house) and TK girl to a spa. The next day, the girls had a photo shoot with "surprise guest" Janice Dickinson, who, now that she's no longer an ANTM judge, is apparently a photographer. Still, Janice injected some much-needed humor into the episode, and her appearance really made me miss her. While Janice doesn't exactly mince words, she's definitely more tactful than, oh, I don't know, Lisa, and she told the models when they were doing an excellent job. The one person Janice made cry? Lisa! Janice saw right through her little act. It was also here that the tensions between Lisa and Coryn came bubbling to the surface; Coryn is apparently not talking to Lisa anymore. Good for her! Most of the girls appeared to rock the photo shoot--maybe Janice is a pretty good photographer after all. Kyle (since when is she so good?), Nik, and Lisa (as obnoxious and fugly as she is, the girl can pose) in particular kicked ass and were the first to be called. The final two came down to Bre, who's been cracking under pressure, but who finally turned out a good photograph; and Diane, who's been lackluster since day one. But Bre (who, from what I can tell, doesn't want to be a model per se--she just wants to be famous) got to stay and, as MW predicted, the plus-size girl had to go. Which again brings me to the point that it's not fair to have a plus-size girl in this competition. Tyra kept saying that as a plus-size girl, you have to do everything better than the other girls, including having a bigger personality, but look at Toccara, who was one of the most confident contestants ever and who got worn down after only a few episodes. It's just not fair to have them competing with regular models.

Anyway, next week the girls gang up on Lisa and call her out on her excessive drinking. And, aha, the tables are turned!