Cheryl Shops

The Costume Institute Gala
So, Monday was the huge, huge, event-of-the-year Costume Institute Gala at the Met, and clearly no one cares, because I can't find single photos to link to. Or maybe no one cares because the fashions were so lackluster. Pretty much everyone who was wearing Chanel (this year's theme) looked amazing, except Nicole Kidman, who seriously creeps me out (her gown was ill-fitting and unflattering). You can see photos here in slideshow format; here are my, as People magazine used to call 'em, "Picks and Pans."

Fabulous
Selma Blair: Gorgeous dress. Chanel, of course. If Selma Blair keeps at it, she could be our generation's Audrey Hepburn. Although she needs to stand up straight. Girlfriend looks like she's got a broken back.
Vanessa Paradis: Again, in Chanel. And I'm guessing she bought it herself. Everytime she shows up anywhere, she just looks so chic and French. Coco would be proud.
Amanda Peet: Of course I have to give a nod to the Marc Jacobs dress, which in itself gives a nod to classic Chanel with its slim silhoutte but flattering shape. She could lose the headband (flapper overkill), but I'm not going to complain too much.
The Olsen Twins: So, yeah, I love the Olsens and am very upset that I haven't seen either of them in the flesh. Nevertheless, Ashely rocked a gold empire-waist Oscar de la Renta, while Mary Kate chose a very sweet (and, eerily, Karen Carpenter-ish) long-sleeved white lace job. Adorable and age-appropriate, both.
Plum Sykes: Yes, I know everyone hates her and thinks she's a massive bitch, but damn, the girl's got great taste in dresses. Her Alexander McQueen gown was gorgeous beyond words.

Not bad
Elle Macpherson: This is for her hair, more than for her dress, but the bright yellow satin strapless gown was quite fetching. The hair, though...why doesn't my hair look like this? Everyday?
Jennifer Connelly: The only actress with the guts to wear something by Balenciaga--other than the motorcycle handbag--in public. It's kind of a mess, but kind of cool too.
Karolina Kurkova: While I probably wouldn't wear Viktor & Rolf, I admire their extreme quirkiness. Her "I Love You" dress was a bit out there, but, hey, you gotta love it.
Naomi Watts: For someone whose ex recently knocked up someone 10 years younger than her, Naomi looks pretty damn good. The ruffles are kind of out of control, but the hair is great and she looks hot anyway.
Catalina Sandino Moreno: The dress is not spectacular, but it's flattering, and I love this gal, in all of her curvy glory (she's from Maria Full of Grace for those of you who haven't seen it--and you should). Great hair too.

Gross
Allegra and Donatella Versace: Yes, I know Donatella's in and out of rehab like most people are in and out of the bathroom, but hello, your daughter has a severe eating disorder! I know she writes your paychecks now, but next time you go to Cirque Lodge, Donatella, bring Allegra with you!
Dr. Lisa Airan: Vogue loves to quote her about all things Botox, but she looks like she took a wrong turn in the East 70s. Honey, the church is on Park Avenue and you're late for your wedding.
Lil' Kim: I don't get it. Somehow, she manages to make Marc Jacobs look trashy.
Emmy Rossum: My god, girl, get yourself some self-tanner. Pale skin plus pale dress equals Emmy the Friendly Ghost.
Natalia Vodianova: Since she's a model, whom I've seen in Calvin Klein ads, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, that she is, in fact, a thin person. However, in this tent of a dress, you'd never know it. Imagine what this would look like on a size-10 woman.

Hot guys (a category that needs no further explanation)
Tom Ford
Viktor & Rolf
Andre 3000
Jake Gyllenhaal
Johnny Knoxville (Jessica, I get it)