Cheryl Shops

America's Next Top Model recap
Quite possibly the most ridiculous America's Next Top Model episode ever aired tonight. Seriously, it kept getting more and more bizarre. First the girls had an acting lesson (oh yes, the acting episode--always one of my least favorites) from a weird old man, then the next day, they had to perform their scene with some hot actor I'd never heard of but Tiffany sure had, as she could barely compose herself in his presence. In the scene, the girls had to adopt a Cockney accent and dress like poor street urchins, complete with blacked-out tooth. Michelle the wrestler, who claimed to have four years of acting experience, couldn't produce an accent to save her life, most of the girls forgot and/or stumbled on their lines, and Tiffany came up with a Scarlett O'Hara-style Southern Belle accent (and a floral bonnet to match). Naima, who pretty much wins everything nowadays, won, and she, Michelle, and Tatiana received diamonds worth $10k collectively (Naima--smart girl--took the yellow diamond). Bizarre, but not bad. The girls then had a photo shoot for Wonderbra, in which they had to pose sexily with a hot male model and pretend to have a pillow fight amidst a fan and blowing feathers. Brittany, predictably, rocked the shoot, as did Michelle, and everyone else pretty much sucked. At judging, the girls had to read from a teleprompter, and they all stumbled on the words "magenta" and "chartreuse,"as well as on the names of Christian Lacroix, Issey Miyake, Karl Lagerfeld, and Hermes. Now, I realize I'm a bit of a freak having known how to pronounce all of these since the age of four, but don't you think if these girls were at all interested in being models, that they'd know at least some designers' (or models'--they all butchered Giselle Bunchen and Karolina Kurkova too) names? During judging, the panel remarked that they noticed a certain lack of enthusiasm. No shit! So Tyra got medieval and--oh, the shock!--sent both Tiffany and Rebecca home, Tiffany due to lack of drive, Rebecca due to lack of progress. We then got to see Tiffany and Rebecca say goodbye to everyone, and while Rebecca was crying and visibly upset, Tiffany was laughing and joking around. This clearly did not sit well with Tyra, who called the girls back in front of her, praising Rebecca for being upset (what?!) and yelling at Tiffany for repressing her emotions. Tiffany responded to defend herself, saying that she was upset but she was tired, etc., and wouldn't let Tyra get a word in edgewise, which is the cardinal sin of America's Next Top Model. You. Do. Not. Dominate. Tyra's. Face. Time. Tyra railed on Tiffany for reasons I still can't quite understand, but the gist of it was that all the judges really believed in her, but Tiffany clearly didn't believe in herself and thus let everyone down. Or, Tiffany made for really good television and the producers were pissed that she had to leave. Phew. I hope someone gave Tyra a nice, big Xanax after that one. Let's hope next week's episode is somewhat back to normal. I don't know if I can handle Psycho Tyra.

Next week: The often amusing PR episode, and something weird involving Kahlen and a cemetary. Oh boy.