Cheryl Shops

America's Next Top Model recap
I'm back from Florida, with a nice sunburn and a belly full o' fish, just in time for tonight's America's Next Top Model. Which was kind of a bizarre episode. First the girls were brought to a mystery office where they had to sign away their lives (tee-hee, a taste of what's to come!)...which was a "lesson" on "reading the contract" (something, which, obviously, models can't do for themselves). The true "lesson"? Hire a good lawyer. The girls then treated themselves to a fancy dinner, where Brittany got wasted and danced on top of the table while all the other girls passed judgment. (They never could've made it in the Golden Era of the Supermodels, where coke & champagne reigned.) The girls then had to hobnob at an industry party for Cover Girl; Tiffany and Michelle withdrew while Lluvy and Kahlen rocked, although Keenyah made the best impression, winning a night at a fancy hotel suite (she was allowed to bring a friend, so she chose good-time-gal Brittany, who's pretty much a sure thing). Then the next morning, while Keenyah and Brittany had breakfast in bed, frolicked in the surf, and had deep-tissue massages, the rest of the girls were driven out into the middle of the desert, where they were met by Mr. Jay, who was wearing his most bizarre outfit to date--kind of "Michael Jackson goes to a gay cowboy bar." Anyway, because there's no such thing as a "normal" shoot, the girls had to pose with a truck and/or a gas pump while being sprayed with a hose and blown on by a high-powered fan. Which was pretty amusing to watch. Kahlen, Brittany, and Christina nailed the shoot while Tiffany and the super-relaxed Keenyah...well, did not really nail it. At all. And while I thought Michelle was going to get the boot, the producers clearly think she makes for good television (and I think when she's focused, she takes a damn good photo too). It came down to Rebecca (who's too "safe" and "pretty") and Lluvy at the end, but, sadly, Lluvy took another bad photo and thus got the boot. I am sad about this, because Lluvy is so cool and different but approachable. I don't know if modeling is the right career for her; maybe she can try acting?

Speaking of which, next week is the ever-fun "acting lesson" episode, the girls have a photo shoot with a boy!, and Tyra appears to get pissed (as in mad, not as in drunk).