Cheryl Shops

America's Next Top Model recap
After going batshit crazy on last week's episode of America's Next Top Model, Tyra started out this week's show by doing some major damage control. Like, "Hey, y'all. I'm not really Crazy McLoonypants, but Tiffany just disappointed me, you know?" The girls nodded nervously. Moving forward, the girls met with some blonde fembot from Entertainment Tonight who taught them how to deal with the media (this included an incredibly amusing segment of Christina interviewing Tatiana, in which both girls said the word "actually" 8 times in about 15 seconds; a buzzer went off each time it was uttered). The girls then put their skills to the test by interviewing rapper/actress/designer/Gwen Stefani buddy Eve; Christina managed not to say "actually" enough to win the challenge but won the lamest prize ever--her interview will actually air on ET. Big whip. I'd rather have a yellow diamond necklace. The girls then went clubbing in L.A., and Michelle busted a move on the dance floor in a bid to work on her confidence. I'd say she's making strides. Sadly, when the girls came home, Kahlen received a voicemail saying that one of her high school friends had died. So it was in incredibly bad taste the next day when the girls had to pose as one of the seven deadly sins. In a graveyard. In a coffin. In a grave. Kahlen understandably freaked out, but pulled her shit together and turned out the best photo of the bunch, channeling her anger as "wrath." At judging, the girls were subjected to another kooky test from the judges--a mock press conference--and Tyra managed not to yell at anyone (thankfully). Tatiana and her small, scrunchy face got the boot in the end for not being very "media-friendly." Which is kind of a dumb reason if you're going to be a plain ol' model, but I suppose it's different being America's Next Top Model. Either way, I am not too upset about Tatiana leaving, as I found her quite annoying.

Next week: Michelle cries some more, and Keenyah chows down. Also, the girls go "somewhere exotic," which I'm guessing is not New York and I'm hoping is not Tokyo.