Cheryl Shops

America's Next Top Model recap
Because I'm staying over at MW's house tonight, I had the pleasure of watching America's Next Top Model on his 43-inch high-definition TV. Which was actually quite convenient, because tonight's episode was all about makeup, and because I got to see Michelle's flesh-eating bacteria in great detail! So, yeah, Michelle the wrestler got all these scabs on her puss and proceeded to totally freak out about them. The girls were giving her a hard time because, well, they looked pretty gross, and because dumb Noelle made everyone paranoid that it was contagious and they were all going to catch it and die. (The shots of Lluvy shivering and freaking out were priceless.) And, honestly, if I were in a competition to be a model and I had big gross scabs all over my face, I'd probably be a mess too. The makeup artists, who, amusingly, were worried that Michelle had leprosy, sent her to a dermatologist, who confirmed that while Michelle does indeed have a bacterial infection, it is neither life-threatening nor contagious, and it is easily treatable. Whew! As for the rest of the episode, in between bouts of "learning" how to apply "natural" makeup from Mr. Jay (sarcasm because he didn't really appear to be teaching them anything), applying "haute couture" makeup (Naima won) and a cool photo shoot in which all the girls were transformed via makeup into another race, Noelle did a hell of a lot of complaining about how she misses her son. Like, Michelle has flesh-eating bacteria: "Oh, I would just die if my son had flesh-eating bacteria." The girls learn what haute couture is: "I don't have time to learn this stuff because my son turns off the TV every three seconds." The girls have to hold a kid while posing at the photo shoot: "I just miss my son so much!" Noelle, dude, we get the picture! So while it was down to Lluvy (who took another bad-to-mediocre photo) and Noelle, apparently Tyra is tired of hearing her complain as well, because Noelle was sent packing. This is good news for Lluvy, but, yikes, she needs to get it together, so as to not become this season's Ann (pretty girl, pretty bad photos).

Next week, Michelle freaks out some more, and Brittany gets wasted. More comparisons of the latter to (former coke fiend) Janice Dickinson are sure to follow.