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Oscar fashion roundup
I must admit, I was kind of bored by the fashions last night. Very few people take risks anymore; they're all too styled. Everyone's wearing strapless gowns with trumpet hems. Yawn. And black is back, but I became so used to color, I got annoyed with the black gowns because I couldn't see any details (although there were some exceptions). Anyway, here are my faves (with photos from E!):

Natalie Portman:
In the very fashionista Lanvin, Natalie looked like a goddess. I loved the sparkly headband too.

Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis
I know this is going to be controversial, and I'm not even going to comment on Johnny Depp because he's so awesome, but his partner, French pop star ("Joe le Taxi," anyone?) Vanessa Paradis, almost always wears Chanel on the red carpet, and she always looks so chic--in that unattainable, effortless French way.

Scarlett Johansson
Another controversial pick. She clearly could not breathe in this corseted Roland Mouret, but her waist was so tiny, I think it was worth it. And she got knocked for her frizzy hair, but I kinda liked it, as well as her head jewels (new trend?).

Gwyneth Paltrow
In my eyes, Gwyneth can do no wrong, but she looked particularly foxy in this Stella McCartney gown. And check out her rack! That's the best advertisement for breast-feeding I've seen in awhile.

Kirsten Dunst
I know the girls at Go Fug Yourself like to give her shit, but I adore Kirsten Dunst, and I think she looked awesome in this lace Chanel gown. I love her chic bob, too, as well as the fact that she wasn't all blinged out.

Maggie Gyllenhaal
Another frequent Go Fug Yourself victim, Maggie cleaned up quite nicely in this goddesslike gown, the designer of which she wouldn't divulge (um, okaaay...). Love the sequined sash. Do not love Jake's haircut.

Honorable mention:
Giselle: Big up to Leonardo DiCaprio for finally taking his long-suffering girlfriend, Giselle, to a major event. Quite possibly the most gorgeous woman in the world, Giselle can get away with wearing anything. I'm still kind of up in the air about her Dior gown, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. Anyone else would've looked like a tent, but Giselle, with her mega-tan and sun-kissed wavy tendrils, looked half Botticelli goddess, half Malibu hippie.

And the worst:
Hilary Swank
Thank got she's a great actress, because I thought Hilary's dress was horrible. Yes, it had a sexy back, but from the front, it looks like something better suited for a 70-something aging socialite. I mean, Guy Laroche? Come on!

Drew Barrymore
I really like Drew, and she has the reputation of being one of the nicest people in "the biz", but this Versace gown is all wrong, as is her gross hair (a bun?). And where was Fab?

Melanie Griffith
As we all know from last week's Stars Without Makeup, Melanie Griffith is starting to look her age. But there are no excuses for this super-gross Versace gown, which looks like something from a mall in Houston. The nude illusion fabric in the back certainly did not help matters.

Annette Benning
Okay, I think Annette Benning was robbed back in 1999--she totally deserved an Oscar for American Beauty. But does anyone else find it totally weird that both she and front-runner Hilary Swank both wore dark, long-sleeved jersey gowns for their 2004 rematch? I can't decide whose gown is less flattering.

Laura Linney
What was last year's lesson? Blondes should not wear beige, much less beige's nasty cousin, "greige." Laura Linney did not heed this lesson. Nor, apparently, did she wash her for a week before the ceremony.

For more snarky coverage, check out Fashion Week Daily and the Fug girls at big-time MSNBC.